Have you ever been to a concert and observed how much fun the band is having together? Have you ever watched a team celebrate after a big win and see all the hugs and high fives? Have you ever seen an old married couple and marvel at how well they treat and speak of one another?

In these three situations we look in from the outside – from the stands, the bleachers or the bench at the mall – and appreciate how well they all get along and work with the others. Seeing them as they are might give us the impression they’ve always been moving down the same path at the same time with the same passion – rowing together in the same direction. Yet, although it may seem this way from the outside, it is rarely the whole story.

A few months ago I was standing on the shore of a beach and watched as a women’s college crew team was practicing in the bay in front of me. I wasn’t THAT intrigued until I noticed that while half the team was aggressively rowing, the other half wasn’t helping at all. It’s not just that they weren’t helping; it would be one thing if they were resting and holding their oars up out of the water, but this was not the case. The half of the team that wasn’t rowing were actually holding their oars deep in the water, resisting the efforts of their teammates who were aggressively rowing. They were slowing down the boat!

After about two seconds I realized what was going on. The half of the team holding their oars in the water were providing resistance for a good reason. Sure, the boat was held back from moving in a certain direction but the team was actually making progress because the resisting rowers were making the aggressive rowers stronger.

Resistance is GOOD…

It’s similar to a weight donut on a baseball bat. When you practice your swing with the weight on your bat it’s heavier than you’d like it to be. However, once you slip off the weight and walk up to the batter’s box, your bat feels much lighter. The resistance has been removed and you feel stronger.

When everyone on the crew team started paddling in the same direction, those who were aggressively rowing started feeling stronger while the team as a whole began to move much faster across the water.

For the rock band, the sports team or the old married couple it might look from the outside like they are pulling their oars in the same direction but most likely there was resistance between those involved while the journey was taking place.

This applies in many of our relationships as well. In whatever situation you find yourself in, whether it is your workplace, your sports team, your marriage, your rock band, your family, your classroom, your church, or your party planning committee this can be a reality for you.

The Tendency to PROVIDE Resistance…

The problem is I usually have a tendency to promote myself as “resistance provider” in my relationships. I ask myself the question, “What can I do to make them stronger?

Isn’t this true of most of us? We love to offer our opinions, give advice and share our valuable insight for the purpose, of course, to help the other person grow. This is our natural tendency. For a moment let’s take our oars out of the water and put ourselves on the other side of the boat.

I need to do this because I need to remind myself that whatever challenging situation I face, whatever criticism I might receive, whatever resistance I experience might be the very thing I need to become stronger.

The Benefit of RECEIVING Resistance…

Each one of us can receive this resistance as an opportunity to grow. The women’s crew team was doing this very thing. The aggressive rowers were not lifting their heads in frustration; angrily shouting at those providing resistance – they kept rowing with the understanding that the pressure provided by their teammates was for their own good.

Sure, there are times when you might be the perfect candidate to be the one providing resistance but for a moment I encourage you to receive it instead. My resistance to you is that you begin to receive the resistance and attempt to learn from the other side of the boat.

This can happen in our workplace… with those we work for or those who work for us.

This can happen in our church… with those who lead us or those we lead.

This can happen in our marriages… the husband wife relationship is practically designed for this! (check out Ephesians 5)

I recently shared this thought with a friend of mine and he responded with some wise perspective. He said that when he and his wife are rowing together he too often offers resistance by submerging a snow shovel in the water, yet, when it’s time for his wife to offer resistance he responds to her as if she’s holding in a tennis racket. Basically, he admitted his natural tendency to see his role as “resistance provider” when he rarely receives her resistance for his own benefit. He added it would be much better if they were both holding the same size oar and I agreed!

In whatever resistance you face today, how can it make you sharper? How can you respond so that when the resistance stops (because it WILL) you will be stronger? Have you missed the opportunities to receive resistance because you were too busy holding your oars in the water? If so, walk to the other side of the boat and start rowing!

Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.